Kristen broke up with me, I think it was a little after 2pm.
I still love her, and she says that she loves me. But I'm just not sure.
I still want to prove to her father that I love her, but I don't know how.
She is listening to her father more than she is listening to her heart, I think anyway.
I think that she wants to keep her promise to her father, but I really want to prove to them both that I want to be the one to be hers, I want to grow old with her.
I want the world to see our love, I want him to see it, I want her to breath it in, I want to touch it.
My tremors are back in my hand worse than ever.
Who Am I?
- Nii-kun
- Florida, United States
- OK, I'm a 15 year old writer. I like to play the trumpet, listen to music and read. I read anything from Manga to Romance novels to the extreme fantasy. I like Anime too, among my favorites is Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, and DNAngel. Although it sounds a bit strange I collect bottles (whine, Sobe, whiskey, rum, etc) just because they are an excellent way to store water in my room and they are great for decoration. :D I also like books by: Terry Brooks, Tamora Pierce, David B. Coe, J.K. Rowling, and some others that I haven't really deemed great enough to name here yet.
Melanie again again
All smiles.
Melanie again
She loosk so happy. Deep in thought, I think
Melanie
Isn't she pretty? lol
My Friend Jesse
Yuppers. She is a good friend
The night before
Dakota, Katie, Katrina, Chris, and me (I'm a Photo Hopper! XD)
Day before the injury
This is the Jazz Band before the INjury of Dakota Abernathy
Coach Harper!
Coltan (CoCo), Me, and Tania- Just chillin' on the last day of school
Me
Awhile back, near the begining of this year
Me and My friend
Thats right, Me and Holly! XD
After the Injury
Me and some friends, The band group that saved Dakota Abernathy: Ironman
17 comments:
I know that you think you love her and I'm sure your feelings are sincere, but that isn't the issue. This has very little to do with how you or Kristen 'feel' about each other. As thinking humans, we must not rely on our feelings to guide our decisions. I know that doesn't sound very romantic, but that is the truth. Matt, you seem to be a nice young man and I do think quite a bit of you, but you and Kristen are traveling down different roads. I know it is difficult for the two of you to see this now, but see it you will; probably much later on in life. For now, time and distance are the prescription for your and Kristen's pain. Please let do the right thing and let the healing begin.
I know what you are thinking, but even if me and her can not be a couple I would still like to at least be friends. I know how it feels to be in love with a friend, I have gone through that before. But the hardest thing was knowing that she didn't think of me anywhere near how I felt about her. At least I know that with Kristen I know she feels the same about me. I know this road better than most, and that is not how you heal. You push on, forget the bad, and you focus only on the good.
And thats exactly what I am going to do.
You know, I am positive that he is in love with Kristen! But I think you are full of shyt! And you are a ritous basterd! what you said....is well its not right. Itsa a load b.s. Thats what I got to say...
it wasnt about him.
if anything it was about me.
he is the most wonderful young man i have ever met.
and thats saying alot.
Kristen?
Thank you, that means a lot.
But still, I am gonna have to agree with Ariane. Although I wouldn't put it in those words (a little too harsh, or blunt) but I would have to agree.
Matt
I know what you think you are doing might be right, it isn't. Now listening to what you said during the headress clinic and what Mr. Walker typed. I think Mr. Walker is right, yes Matt we all know how you keep saying your in love with Kristen and all but do you really think that just because you are completely different around her then the other girls or as you claim that every since you met her. Your whole love life changed. Matt as a friend of you and Kristen, I think that whatever Mr. Walker it telling his daughter should go.But what it eems like to me Matt is, you dont like the way that Mr. Walker is raising Kristen. and im sorry and all but i think you should just leave her be if she isn't allowed to talk to you. kk Matt
~ T.A.N.I.A aka L-I-N-E
I can't. Its not only that, its that its just wrong. You can't tell me that you think that Mr. Walker is doing the right thing. He isn't even taking his own advice.
"As thinking humans, we must not rely on our feelings to guide our decisions." - he isn't doing that. You can't agree with that Tania.
Saddly Matt to you its might not sound right but really it actually sounds like the right thing Matt. He is telling the Truth just because you have certain feelings on certain things, it doesn't mean that you should just go ahead with our own descisions. Matt he is right about that and its advice for YOU NOT HIM. and he is following his own advice, you just have no understanding on what he is telling you.
~T.A.N.I.A aka l-i-n-e
Then tell me what he is telling me?
I have tried that advice "For now, time and distance are the prescription for your and Kristen's pain." Thats not true, at least not for me. I have tried that before and it only ended up hurting me more than it healed. So I tried my approach and I healed faster than ever. I went back and thought of the sad once I felt stronger and It didn't hurt so bad.
He is probably trying to keep her from being hurt, but to tell the truth I think what he is doing is gonna cause more harm. he can't protect her from everything and sometimes one must learn things on ones own to get the lesson. Whats gonna happen when he isn't there to "save" her? she wont be able to get through it. She needs to face her own problems too. I understand what I am saying sounds harsh and like I don't care, but its because I care that I say it.
Matt
I know, you know, and kristen knows, that you do care about her, and your right he is not always going to be there forever and that she should learn from her own mistakes and all but there are alot of ways to heal your self. Matt you always use your feelings, not your brain Matt, and ever since i knew you,you did just that and not to really stop and really think about stuff. and when i mean that i mean for days not 30 mins or an hour, but for days.if your cant even understand this then what will you?
T.A.N.I.A aka l-i-n-e
Your right. I usually do take days, and I do follow my feelings more than my head. Because like coach Harpor said, "Your brain my lie to you, but your heart never will." I know whats right, OK? Even if short term it may not be smart, but in the long run its the right thing. I did stop when I got home to think. And I am crying right now as I right this.And my hand is twitching more than it was all this year, but I am trying to hide that.
But even if she can't be with me I want whats right for her, and part of what he is doing is not right. You know that too. Parts I don't agree with but I can't stand up against, its personal preference for those. But others are just wrong and you know it, even if you think with your brain it will still tell you that it is wrong!
Those parts I just can't sit down and turn away. It took me a whole year to realize how I felt about her and I am just so sorry that it took me that long.
ugh Matt,so then exactly how many days deos it make you think? yes i know that Matt but what your seriously doing is wrong dammit (sorry for my language) but you dont understand that is the way he raised his daughter MATT many people are raised differently. And what might not seem right for you might be right to others.
~T.a.n.i.a aka l-i-n-e
No, if its not right its not right. I don't mean on a personal level I mean on a moral level. Its just not right for anybody.
I am not gonna bring up what I think I understand about how her dad raises her, its not my place, not here, because I may be wrong. But I do know that those things are morally wrong. You can not argue. What I said at the Headdress Clinic is part of what I mean (some of it) and you know the parts that I mean. I can understand some things, but seriously, over bored much?
Listen, you wont change the way I think, and I won't completely do what I said I was going to do, but I still believe that I should be friends with he at the very least as long as I can.
I hate lieing, but for all I know I may have to tell her that I never loved her, that I lied, even though saying that would be a lie. It would hurt me more than anything, but I may have to to have her fully let go. I don't want her to hurt, but I also want to still be friends with her, even if she is angry with me. I wont lie right now, but I honestly do love her. I would trade my own life for hers if it meant that she would live. I would face my greatest fears and beyond to save her, like a fairy tale. But I know this is no fairy tale, no matter how much I wish it was.
im crying right now...inside and out...matt i do love you but we cant be together. my father cant help but protect me. i wish i could fly away. i wish i could come through the screen and embrace you and just cry in your arms. im sobbing right now im sorry ...i dont know what to do...i just want to cry...i miss you.....im sorry....
you should read my blog
this is my name:Grace_of_midnight
always.
always?
Yes, always. Always and for ever, I love you. I love you now, and I loved you then. It took me to long to see what those feelings for you were, and I made mistake after mistake by dating others. I will wait for you forever, and I will love you for eternity, because even death can not stop my love for you.
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